CA:TWS: MEMORIES
by thewomanwhosoldtheworld
Summary: She has always lived in a world of secrets and lies... he always understood her more than anyone else. A Winter/Widow one-shot post movie, AUish


A/N: So yeah, this is like one big love one scene from Natasha's POV. This one-shot is probably more of a mash up of movies and Black Widow comics considering she probably doesn't know Bucky in the same way as she does in the comics (I can't remember, I went to see CA: TWS a while ago now so I can't remember if she said she had known Winter Soldier before or if it was hinted at) I own nothing, I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading and reviewing if you do.

Summary: She has always lived in a world of secrets and lies... he always understood her more than anyone else. A Winter/Widow one-shot post movie, AUish

**CA:TWS: MEMORIES**

She pauses at the edge of the footpath, watching him from a far, he is sitting on the bench staring at his hands. The rain is falling heavily now, she briefly closes her eyes and remembers a time so long ago now. A time when she could let herself believe in childish things such as love.

"I know your there." His voice slices through the air, he pulls her out of her thoughts. She walks towards him, her grasp on her umbrella loosens.

She always loved the rain. She places her umbrella at her side when she sits down next to him. He looks up at her, there is confusion on his face.

"I tried to kill you." He says and she smiles.

"A lot of people have tried to kill me."

"Why are you here?" He says, Natasha lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding, she looks around, before it hits her...

_I love you..._

_James, you know I..._

_It's ok, I love you, you don't have to say anything, just know that I love you..._

The memories flash through her mind like a news reel, minutes must past because when she opens her eyes, the rain has stopped and he is staring at her with a deep frown on his face.

"Why are you here?" She asks him the same question he posed to her minutes earlier. She lets herself just for a moment hope, that maybe he knows the answer.

"I can't remember, I just... I feel like this is a safe place, one of the few."

His answer, at least for now is good enough for her.

"Did you know me? If you know me, please, I need answers... these memories I don't know which are real, I don't know if I even have any real memories."

Natasha wants to tell him everything is going to be ok but she can't, she knows what their lives are like, nothing is ever ok in the reality they live in.

They are born in fire, and she is sure she will die in it as well.

"We knew each other. We were... we understood each other, which in our world is a rare thing. I will tell you everything I know, I promise." She tells him, a look of satisfaction crosses his face, she takes comfort in knowing that James believes what she is telling him.

She has always lived in a world of lies and secrets, and James is the only one she has ever been able to be truly honest with, because he always understood her more than anyone else.

Silence falls between them until finally James dares to say something.

"Does _he_ know your here?"

"No. He doesn't... Steve wouldn't understand, he's... different to you or I." She replies, she had told Steve that she wanted to be his friend and for a moment she even believed she could but she knows her past, what she has done, Steve could never accept her.

She thinks she was also trying to protect James, let him tell Steve the truth when or if he remembers, or if he even wants to.

"Do you want to go?" Natasha eventually asks, the air is cooling down quickly as the sun sets and she has begun to shiver in her wet clothes.

"Can we just sit here for a moment longer? It's-this place, I feel like I never want to leave." He replies.

Natasha's eyes widen, those words... She looks over at the lake in the middle of the park, and for the first time in a long time she feels hopeful.

This place has a way of doing that to her.

_YEARS AGO_

_Natasha Romanoff smiles at James through the heavy rain, she had thrown her umbrella to the ground moments ago. _

"_I hate the rain." He says to her, a look of frustration on his face and Natasha can't help but laugh. James stares at her, then without warning he throws his umbrella to the ground as well as they walk past the lake in the middle of the park._

_They had been here before, in fact this had been the first place they ever met. She grabs his hand and leads him to the edge of the lake._

_In this moment, with him, she feels free... free of the pain she has caused and has suffered, free of the memories that haunt her every time she closes her eyes._

_James pulls her close, he stares at her with an intensity he usually reserves for the most daring of missions._

"_I love you."_

"_James, you know I..."_

"_It's ok, I love you, you don't have to say anything, just know that I love you..."_

_She doesn't say anything, she pulls him in closer and kisses him, when they finally part they find a bench nearby the lake and sit down._

_They don't care about the rain, because in this moment, nothing else exists. _

_She doesn't know how long passes before she finally decides to pull away from him._

"_Shall we go?" _

_He looks at her, she has never seen him look so peaceful before._

"_Can we stay a moment longer? This place is... I feel like I never want to leave." _

_Natasha doesn't say anything, she leans back into James' body and closes her eyes. _

_If she could, she would stay here forever..._


End file.
